Paige Matthews: Hey! [pulls off Phoebe's earrings], Phoebe Halliwell: Ouch! We're in the underworld! Clarence: What you need is to get out of this hole. Oh God, that is so enough. Unless you want to get slapped again. Phoebe: Ugh! Phoebe: Well, you dropped me. Phoebe Halliwell: No, I did not kiss him at homecoming. Piper: Which you would have learned if you had bothered to ask. Piper Halliwell: Just say you're okay with it. But that's not the point. I remember blue sparks hitting my face. Phoebe Halliwell: Could someone please get me to the ocean before I SUFFICATE? Do I make myself clear? Phoebe Halliwell: And this is a bad thing? Phoebe Halliwell: Really? Piper Halliwell: Describe it? One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, the next thing I knew was... unzipping his pants with my teeth. We are screwed. Leo: [staring at her legs] Who's counting? Phoebe Halliwell: I'm the one that's upset with myself for not working for a living. Now you're gonna arrange a meeting with her tonight, you understand? Leo Wyatt: [from behind Phoebe, thinking she is Piper] Ever done it on a cloud? Piper Halliwell: Yeah, I was just thinking, when I was in the storm drain, I was kind of out of it. Phoebe Halliwell: Maybe it was an imaginary friend. Certainly the wrong mommy. Prue Halliwell: But they'll never be the same. Put it down! I think I just had one of Phoebe's premonition thingies. You wanted a family, and I gave you a son. Phoebe Halliwell: I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. [Piper, Phoebe, and Paige exchange nervous glances]. Big one! Paige Matthews: Looks like we didn't lose him after all. As a matter of fact I use your house as an example in one of my lectures. Go away. I know, I know, it hurts. Harry: You know, your voice doesn't do justice. Prue Halliwell: Don't worry. Piper: Yeah, Phoebe, I just said that. Paige: [in Phoebe's body] What did you just call me? That's so not funny because I think I do. And besides, isn't everything just gonna get messed up again anyway? he added, with a gesture of kingly condescension. Paige Matthews: Oh my god! Piper Halliwell: That's what I mean. Phoebe: Yeah. We'll try the group hug later! You can't take me. But it doesn't turn out this way, I promise. Dwarf: In your dreams stinky. Wow. So she's using Aviva to try to turn us into bad witches? Spencer Ricks: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, baby. Nigel: Did you just try and cast a love spell on me? No! Break it up. 4.during the war a bullet knocked the pistol out of his had, but he had a Charmed life. A regular femme fatale. Piper: You look like you're not going to help clean up. You are safe, you are loved, and you are wise. I mean, I have a job now and that's good. Hi, doctor, did the test results come in? My second wife put you up to this? She orbed! That's how you've seen all these other monsters that you've mentioned, isn't it? I know. Phoebe: You know, I specifically asked for a... Grams: [voiceover] You asked for an answer. It's a ten million dollar jackpot. Phoebe Halliwell: I don't know, I don't know. He kept touching me. And it's going to go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says 'Jasper's First Photo'.". Piper Halliwell: Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy. So, if you won't believe me, you can believe my power. Paige: You used to be a demon *and* a lawyer? Dex Lawson: Wha...? Phoebe: I didn't know what to say. That spiritual nexus thing. Piper. Phoebe Halliwell: [on phone] Don't tell me. Are you telling me, that that girl, our innocent, is really... our sister? Paige? Phoebe Halliwell: He's a Whitelighter. Once you possess it [the power of the Nexus] I mean? I'm just going to go to the store and get some milk or something... [Paige leaves]. Demon killed Lady Godiva which changed history, we gotta fix it, so are you with me or what? Penny "Grams" Halliwell: What's IBM selling at in your time? Paige Matthews: The Cliffs Notes version: Our mom had an affair with her Whitelighter Sam, but because of the whole Witch-Whitelighter rule thing, they had to give me up at birth. Phoebe Halliwell: To get revenge on the school. Piper Halliwell: Do we look merry to you? Piper Halliwell: Oh, my God. Phoebe: It's just research for that stupid article Jason made me do. You're mine, now. Remember Jeremy? Charmed Laces: One little charm added onto your laces is a great way to add interest to your shoes without working too hard at it. Piper: I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow. Paige Matthews: I tried to but Cupid shushed me. Terra: What kind of witch can't kill a demon without her sisters? Phoebe Halliwell: I bet she used that spell a lot raising us? Does that mean things are going better at work? Piper: Yeah, like that doesn't have personal gain tattooed across its forehead. Piper: Look, if there's anything I've learned from all this it's that I've got to learn to deal with messes. Phoebe: Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it. Piper: I haven't been comparing - I've just been... talking. I do have to tell you I am gonna miss that new power though. [Paige has just been revived after eating Snow White's poison apple]. Piper Halliwell: And I also have an idea for his first name. We're moving in next door. Phoebe Halliwell: No. The Count's club was the biggest, most corrupt in the city. Gideon: So then, despite what Barbas would have you believe, regardless of outside influences, the sisters have always managed to protect magic, and therefore based upon all the evidence, we ask the tribunal, no, we demand that the cleaners be forced to reverse what they have done, that Lieutenant Morris be freed, and that The Charmed Ones be allowed to do what they have always done so well... cover their own tracks. Gith: Poison shouldn't take long. Piper: Then what the hell good are they? I found the basement particularly intriguing. Paige: Then why am I stuck here reading? Piper Halliwell: Okay, okay. Leo: Well that I didn't expect. Piper Halliwell: I swear to god I have seen this in a movie once. Paige Matthews: Look, I don't know how he did it, but Cole somehow switched realities in his twisted attempt to get you back. Prue Halliwell: Ones you can't return. Piper Halliwell: So, does a positive superstition cancel out a negative one? Prue: Billy, it's the 21st century. Why was I just carrying you? Paige: My boobs are in the way. Mainline caffeine while waxing on warlock issues? Phoebe Halliwell: So what if he did? Donnie: [stares at Paige's large chest] Whoa! Phoebe Halliwell: Well, there's nothing keeping me here now, is there? Leo Wyatt: Listen, if you want some private coaching, there's an empty room upstairs. Piper: So your new-and-improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us we're screwed? Let's go. Cole: I'm not gonna use my powers against you anyway. Phoebe: [in Paige's body] Uh, just a minute. Piper Halliwell: I thought I was going to die last night. 5 8 " Charmed to make your acquaintance, General!" They're mammals. We could be attacked at any moment. Prue Halliwell: No, I'm not okay! Piper Halliwell: And stop worrying about them? Leo Wyatt: I don't know. I shouldn't have stolen the Book of Shadows. Prue Halliwell: Do you think Andy knows about? Last week we had no dad and now we have two? Paige Matthews: [She's talking with Phoebe by cell phone, about why San Francisco is upset] Besides, everybody in San Francisco is too odd, that's why we fit in so well! I wanna look nice for him. Did you just see that? Aviva: I was just walking by and I um, saw one of your flyers and poof. A big one. The moment someone says that, everything always goes south. Piper: Diminishing the rodent population... *obviously*. Patty Halliwell: Prue, Prue. We said we were sorry. How could this happen? Whether we like it or not. Cole: I wouldn't miss it for the world. You are supposed to be cheering her up, not pushing her off the edge! Piper Halliwell: Uh, Doug, what about Shelley? Paige Matthews: White lights. Think about it. He's been showering me with gifts all week. Phoebe Halliwell: We're going to save you. Piper: Yeah. Piper: Yeah... which, ummm, I'll actually pay to replace. It's the only way for you to move on and get out of limbo. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and shrunken head necklace, perhaps? Oh, I love wearing your clothes, your things. All my power of premonition and I never saw that one coming. Head Dwarf: No prince? Billie Jenkins: Fine. It seems like every time I walk past there she's in there chanting or something. Roger: I didn't realize the two were mutually exclusive; although I certainly enjoyed one more than the other. Piper Halliwell: Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs. The monks who converted the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar made some critical errors. Phoebe Halliwell: Are you kidding? Piper: What am I a dolphin? Just like I did when I tricked her into leaving the vault today with the tiara. Piper Halliwell: Well, obviously, you weren't. Isn't he your number two guy? Piper Halliwell: If Grams put away the shadow and it came back. Don't take it for granted. [turns into Jessica] Nose job. Ooh, you're an angry monkey. Phoebe Halliwell: You don't need my help, Leo. Oh, and if you run into someone named Joanne from high school, just tell her to go stick it. Prue: [after Natalie was unfrozen] Piper froze ya. [laughs] Ever. I wouldn't mess with them if I were you. I'm not leaving without you. New Phoebe: Boy, sure hope nobody died in there. You wouldn't want to fall. Cole Turner: None of the above. Phoebe: Wanna take a wiccan time out and do the crossword puzzle? Chris: In the future, everyone tried to control the demon with no name, but it can't be done. I have to get back to the restaurant. Phoebe Halliwell: Oh, you'll learn to adore me.
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